It is almost guaranteed that everyone will, at some point in their life, experience some form of heart-break. Whether that be being turned down for a date, being dumped by someone or finding out someone has cheated on you. There are no rules as to what will cause heart-break, we all feel different things, but I’d like to share my top 12 tips on overcoming heart-break and getting back to being happy again!
1. Delete their number/unfollow them
You cannot move on from someone if you’re still checking out their Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Out of sight, out of mind and if you cannot trust yourself to simply unfollow them on Facebook, just delete them. Maybe even block them if you need to. This ”thing” didn’t work for a reason, it will not work and you need to realise that. You won’t realise if you’re keeping that person in your thoughts by constantly checking up on them, so deleting them is certainly first call.
2. NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER
You cannot expect your heart to heal if you are still speaking to someone you have feelings for. Even if you’re only speaking as ”friends”, the heart will find it very difficult to move on if you continue to have regular contact. Cut all contact for at least 30 days – this means ignoring any messages they may send to you, as hard as it may be, if you want to move on, you need to have space from this person to realise that you do not need them. EXTRA: no begging for them to come back to you. All that this does is make you look desperate and degrades you. This will put them off even more.
3. Spend time with loved ones
Spending time with people who care about you is one of the best ways to take your mind off of things. Laughing and creating new memories is definitely crucial to making you realise that your life does not revolve solely around this person. Plus, if you need to get something off of your mind, your loved ones are the perfect candidates to vent to and they can also offer you the support you may need.
4. Pamper yourself
When we’re heart-broken, we can neglect ourselves and become obsessed with being sad over the end of this terrific ‘thing’. It’s important to look after number 1 and make sure you’re looking and feeling the best you can, by ensuring you are grooming yourself regularly and taking care in your appearance. If you look put together – you’ll feel much more put together.
5. Exercise and eat healthy
Eating crisps, chocolate, pizza and sweets may be the only things you’re wanting to consume right now and certainly have a day of binge eating, give into the craving to emotionally eat, but you need to snap out of it pretty quickly to ensure you’re not going to fall into a poor eating habit, which will only make you feel worse. Eat healthy foods, have a balanced diet and exercise a few times a week and you should notice a significant improvement in your overall health. Exercising releases serotonin, which can reduce stress levels and improve overall happiness, not to mention the benefits it has on your body! What better way to show someone what they’re missing, than to become the best version of you?
6. Focus on your hobby
If you have a hobby, you may have not been able to keep up with it as much whilst being involved with the person you were dating. Now is the perfect time to really get stuck in with your hobby and do the things you want to do in life! Think of all the time you have now that you’re not investing all of your free time in a person? I find that this is the real benefit of being single. If you don’t have a hobby, find a hobby! Join a club, read a book, draw something. There are endless options and the choice is all yours.
7. Cry it out
I am not going to tell you to hold in your emotions, because that isn’t good for anyone. If you feel upset, let the tears out, no one can be strong all of the time and it is most definitely okay not to be okay! Watch a romantic comedy, grab a tub of ice cream and cry it out. As long as you’re not finding yourself doing this every single evening, you should be a-okay.
8. Accept that it’s over
People tend to hold on to false hope a lot.
Example: (ex partner) ”maybe this wasn’t the right time for us..”
(You) does this mean that we could be together at some point in the future? Are they wanting to have a break and then get back together? They said maybe, were they looking for reassurance from me? I should message them to confirm..
Just stop. People use ”maybe”, mainly because they don’t want to seem harsh. Stop holding onto the idea that you 2 may be able to re-kindle in a few weeks, a month or a year. It’s over – accept that it is finished with and understand that some people are meant to fall in love, but not meant to be together.
9. Go out and have fun
Go out and socialize, go to the club if you’re old enough to, have a dance and have some fun. People attract others when they’re laughing and happy and if you’re having fun, think of all of the potential new people you could be-friend.
10. Meet other people
Online dating makes it ridiculously easy to meet people from the comfort of your home – sign up to a dating website and see who is out there. You might be surprised at who you meet online. If online dating isn’t your thing, simply getting out and about will increase the likelihood of you bumping into someone you may find a connection with.
11. Remember who you are
Before you met this person, you didn’t know that they existed and chances are, you were not exactly phased about the non-existence of this person. Remember who you were prior to meeting this person and do not allow yourself to be tainted by another person. Remember the things that made you happy before you met this person.
12. Time is the best healer
Chances are, you’re not gonna be over this in a week. Maybe not even a month. It may take a whole year to heal, depending on the circumstances, but just know that time is the best healer and you have to be patient. Every day that passes by, you’re a step closer to being emotionally detached from this person and so by following the above steps, you should find that your journey to actually getting over this person is much more enjoyable.
Thank you for reading, I hope you found these tips helpful.
Let me know what your favourite tips are for dealing with and healing heartbreak!
mynaija 